Merchant Training
by Gyarii
Summary: No one said being a undercover spy is easy, especially as a merchant selling items he has no knowledge nor interest about! Not to worry, our friendly neighbourhood ninja is here to help.


The Azuchi streets are buzzing with activity. However, there is a store without any patrons. The undercover merchant frowns at the clear blue sky overhead. Sweat slides down his face tickling his neck. He wipes them with his sleeves, careful as to not let them drip onto the accessories. The accessories that he was supposed to sell.

'Seriously what was Lord Shingen thinking?' Yukimura grumbles to himself. His jaw tightens. 'I can't sell these! What if my merchant permit gets revoked because of this? Was he expecting me to gossip with women? Weapons like knives and daggers are obviously better choices!'

He fans himself in an attempt to cool down from his internal rage. Suddenly, a tall man don in green looms over, blocking the sunlight on his face.

If Yukimura doesn't know who he is, he might have mistaken him for a tree. Begruntedly, he acknowledges the ninja, "Sasuke."

Sasuke stands still. His eyes scan at the fully stocked accessories on display. Despite Shingen hand picking the accessories himself, it is evident that it is the seller that is chasing its potential customers away. Stoicly, he says, "at least we don't have to worry about restocking."

A deep sigh escapes the merchant's lips. His frown does not budge. "Yeah, yeah. I get it. Stop looking down on me."

"Sorry. Is this better?" Sasuke squats, staring at his friend at eye level.

"T-that isn't what I meant!" Yukimura places his hands on his hips. His voice now softer from the crowd's attention," and you know it."

"Lord Shingen is worried about you. I am too, so I came to cheer you up-" Sasuke pulls out two onigiris. "With your lunch."

As if on cue, his stomach growls. Thankfully, it is unheard by Sasuke and the crowd. His frown lines cease and he starts packing up. "Huh, thanks. I could use a break. Give me a moment."

* * *

Luckily, it takes a while to reach Yukimura's temporary home. Located deep in the forest, no one would stumble upon his home unless he is being hunted. The trees shelter throughout their way, covering them from the sun and any unnecessary attractions.

Unfortunately, since they are in hiding, he has to keep the curtains shut. He relishes the shortlived breeze ruffling his greasy hair. The wind might carry his secrets out after all.

Sasuke mumbles about wishing 'electronic fans' to be invented in this time period. When the merchant asks him about it, he simply said it is a joke too advanced for him. Yukimura shakes his head, focusing on keeping his packed items aside. It is not that Sasuke does not want to explain, rather any effort in trying to understand his friend's jokes is like finding a needle in a haystack.

The house is vacant, save for a few necessities. Tiny rays of light filters through the straw curtains, highlighting the dust particles floats in the air. Sasuke ignites the wood, boiling the kettle with familiarity and ease. The wood crackles filled the room. They sit on the makeshift chairs, made of bundles of hay, and proceed to eat.

"I just don't get Lord Shingen. Is he playing me for a fool?" The host munches on his rice ball as he rants, "iwt drrrrevies meeh nuts."

The ninja puts down his half-finished onigiri, appearing deep in thought. Then, he pushes his spectacles up. "Think of this way, Yukimura."

"What?"

"Think of it as training."

Frown lines appear on his forehead again. "I don't know how you survived Lord Kenshin's daily attacks on you but I don't want to end up like you."

"I shall take that as a compliment." Sasuke shakes it off cooly. "In any case, I wasn't talking about that kind of training. I know you don't think too fondly of women but this exercise might aid you in getting used to them. Moreover, I have a feeling that Lord Shingen wants you to relax."

"Relax? This is the opposite of relaxation!" Yukimura swallows the entire onigiri down in one gulp. "I'm on the edge sitting my butt off at the same spot every day, getting ignored and being bored from fishing redundant gossips. 'Oh Lord Hideyoshi is so dashing today! Oh Lord Mitsunari smiled at me!' Blegh!"

Yukimura crushes the wrapping paper. Women love to babble at his shop, exchanging empty praises about Azuchi warlords without fail. It takes up every ounce of his blood to not let them boil. Despite his efforts, he could not do anything about his black face that frightens his patrons away.

His groan echoes off the walls. The merchant grips his head and pulls his hair in agony. His companion casts his eyes onto the packed accessories. His mouth parts slightly, "calm down, Yukimura. I have a plan."

"Eh? Spill."

The bespectacled meets his puzzled gaze in slow motion. He mouths the words just as slowly,"Why don't we sell together?"

"Eh?" Yukimura blinks in surprise. "Sell together?"

"If my theory is correct then the more manpower, the more sales we will gather. Alas, I never had the sales background but I'm sure we can do this."

"Erm..." The red merchant folds his arms, shooting his friend a sceptical look. "I get what you're trying to do and I appreciate it but I don't that will change anything."

"What do you mean?"

At that moment, the kettle whistles. Sasuke stands up immediately, dousing the flames. Yukimura puts his hand on hip and continues.

"Don't you remember one of our first encounters? I found you lost in the market, clutching your list filled with strange scribbles. You could hardly hold a conversation with the merchants. Not to mention your fidgety, weird gestures were freaking everyone out. You were lucky that I was coincidentally buying candies for Lord Shingen from the same store. I don't think Lord Kenshin would be happy to know his ninja was caught by the guards for causing a disturbance. I thought he had damaged and scarred your mentality that badly..."

"I was grateful for your help and I was hoping you might let that go." The ninja lifts up the teapot and pours into their cups. The aroma of tea leaves calms them both down. Sasuke takes a sip before explaining, "I was too cautious of Lord Kenshin's surprise attacks I had to be on guard at all times. Unfortunately, my brain capacity was overloaded and I forgot the simplest words. I had always been bad with charades."

"Charades? Well, you have improved lots I guess." The merchant's shoulder slouches. He scratches his chin. "Despite your usual deadpan face, you're not panicking right now."

"Not to worry, my 6th sense for blades had been sharpened."

"Huh?"

"Anyway," Sasuke distracts him from his peculiar sense of humour,"why don't we practice between ourselves first? There's nothing to lose from being prepared. Roleplaying helps to stimulate and I assure you I won't laugh at you."

"Erm..." Yukimura casts his eye downward. He tilts his head and shrugs. "Okay?"

"Firstly, breaking the ice with your customers is crucial. Humour is the simplest way. I shall assume the identity of S-san. S-san likes science so scientific puns will do the trick. Try this 'Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.' Wait that only works in text form."

"What?"

"Hold on, try this one, 'If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.'"

"I don't understand that but it sounds offensive, are you sure?"

Sasuke shakes his head. "I can't think of any, the good ones argon... Nevermind, just be yourself and we'll improvise along the way."

The ninja unpacks the accessories on the floor. He scoops up a spiky hairpin and beings raving on one of the Oda Warlords.

"Oh! This pin reminds me of the impeccable Lord Ieyasu! His sense of tactics is amazing as always! I saw him with an umbrella the other day despite the weather being so sunny! Yet, it started drizzling soon after. He is so prepared and cool I can't hold my fangirlism!"

"...Sasuke."

"Come Yukimura." Sasuke urges. "Remember, humour."

"Ahem..." The merchant coughs into his mouth before forcing an awkward laugh, "h-haha I bet he would look funny if he got drenched. L-like a wet cat."

"How dare you compare the wonderful Lord Ieyasu to a feline! He's a majestic creature like a deer! Hmph!" S-san drops the hairpin and pouts. He jumps up dramatically and stomps away.

Yukimura balls his hand into a fist. "What the... Don't even think about coming back!"

Sasuke pauses. He turns around and shakes his head once more. He eyes the accessories and notes, "Yukimura, you didn't even ask S-san to stay. I can see why you-"

"No! You are being a weird person don't blame it on me!" He gulps down his cup in frustration but flinches from the heat. "Ugh, hot!"

"Okay let's cool down and rethink this through. I'm positive we will come up with a great plan." Then, Sasuke quickly adds, "eventually."


End file.
